Having anxiety is a myth

Before you get your torches and pitchforks, hear me out.

I’m not saying anxiety doesn’t exist; I’m saying most people have a fundamental misunderstanding of what anxiety is, and it’s that misunderstanding that leads to suffering.

Let’s unpack it.

How do people who struggle with anxiety talk about it?

“I have so much anxiety when I think about talking to that person again.”

They talk about it like it’s an object, possession, or attribute.

It’s not.

Anxiety is simply a state like happiness, frustration, and even confidence.

Here’s an example of something that we speak of in terms of “state” that will help this make sense.

When something unexpected and oftentimes traumatic happens, people can go into a “state of shock.”

They don’t have shock. We don’t say, “this is a very shocky person,” they enter a specific state, and the difference matters!

It matters because we know the state of shock won’t last forever.

We don’t give them a permanent label like we do people with anxiety. Viewing yourself as an anxious person who always has anxiety and is constantly fighting a battle with anxious demons is exhausting.

I know I’ve been there, and it doesn’t do anyone any good.

It’s far more constructive to view anxiety as a state, a state that doesn’t last forever.

A state that, if you have the tools, you can leave at will.

Leaving anxiety behind

We’ve already discussed the first step, which is accepting that anxiety isn’t permanent and that it has no place in your identity.

It’s just a state.

So how do you leave the state of anxiety?

Think of it like a map of the continental United States. If you’re in the country, you can’t not be in a state.

If you’re in Texas, you can’t be in California.

If you’re in North Carolina, you can’t be in Colorado.

So if you want to be in a different state than anxiety, you have to pick that state and go there.

The only way that happens is if you have the prerequisites to go there.

If you're struggling with anxiety, that usually means you’d like to feel confident, so that’s the state we’ll discuss here today.

The State of Confidence

To enter the state of confidence, there are only 3 prerequisites.

• An unshakable connection to your core values. These make it clear both to yourself and the world who you are and how you do things.

• Fluency in the language of confidence includes verbal communication and body language. All language is a two-way street; you’re signaling both to the world and to your nervous system what state you’re in and how comfortable you are being there.

• The ability to remain anchored to your body, regardless of your circumstances or emotional turbulence. Confidence doesn’t live in your head or the heads of the people you admire; it lives here in tangible reality with your body.

Does that mean you can’t ever feel confident if you don’t have these 3 things dialed in?

No.

But it does mean you won’t be able to STAY in the state of confidence for very long.

If you want to be able to wield confidence like a tool you can use to leave the state of anxiety at will, then; core values, confidence fluency, and body anchoring are the most reliable ticket there is.

Weekly Challenge

The people I’ve spoken to who struggle with confidence the most typically have to weakest connection to their core values, and that makes sense.

It’s difficult to feel confident in any situation when you struggle to know who you are and how you do things.

So I created this FREE guide to help you figure out what your core values are.

This week’s challenge is to uncover your core values.

Here’s the link