Letting go of anxiety is terrible advice

Have you ever been told to “let go” of anxiety?

Or what about this?

Have you ever been told to “just get out of your head,” “stop freaking out because there’s no reason to overthink this?”

That's when you rolled your eyes and said to yourself, “Thank you for nothing.”

“Letting go” isn’t a strategy.

It’s a platitude that people who don’t understand what you’re going through use to make THEMSELVES feel better, not you.

It’s what’s said when they feel they need to supply a solution and are at a loss…

To be fair, 99.99999 percent of the time, they mean well; they just can’t see what you see from their perspective.

“Letting go” isn’t a real thing…

But there are real solutions, and to use them, you must understand that anxiety is an emotional state, not a character trait; it's an emotional location.

What does that mean?

Think of emotional locations like rooms in your home. Each room has a specific purpose. The key to using your home optimally is doing the right activities in the right space.

You cook in the kitchen. You shower in the bathroom.

Simple.

Now, if you want to change your emotional location, you need the key to unlock the door and move to the next room.

The key has 3 parts.

An unshakable connection to your core values: These make it clear both to yourself and the world who you are and how you do things.

Your core values are the line you draw in the sand and use to monitor your desires and behavior.

Fluency in the language of confidence: This includes verbal communication and body language. All language is a two-way street; you’re signaling both to the world and to your nervous system what state you’re in and how comfortable you are being there.

Body anchoring: This is the ability to remain anchored to your body, regardless of circumstances or emotional turbulence. Confidence doesn’t live in your head or the heads of the people you admire. It lives at the intersection of your mind and your body.

Now for the real question.

What use is a key if you never step through the door it opens?

Dialing in these three things WILL make you feel, look, and be more confident, but that confidence will only be beneficial IF you’re willing to take action.

You’re still responsible for stepping through the door and putting yourself out there.

You still have to be the one making moves for yourself.

The difference is that with confidence, you’re dramatically stacking the odds in your favor.

Weekly challenge

Pay attention to how your body responds to stress throughout the week, and note how that influences your behavior.

For example, you may notice your heart rate spikes, and you feel uneasy when there’s an argument nearby that you’re not even involved in. To alleviate this feeling, you may zone out by listening to music, scrolling social media, or maybe you’ll lean in because you love the juicy details.

Regardless, if a change happens in your body, there will be a change in your behavior. Being able to pick up on these changes, predict them, and redirect them are fundamental skills required for you to remain anchored to your body regardless of circumstance or emotional turbulence.